Last Week in Writing

I have actually done a fair amount of writing the past week, mostly on my personal blog. I have been writing pieces on aging. I have also spent some time trying to imagine how this new blog could work to showcase my writing skills for more formal pieces.

Unlike last week, I have had no pieces to write for anyone else, so my enthusiasm for freelancing is somewhat muted.  This is going to be a lot more work than just blogging, and I am a babe in the woods.  

Who knew a 72 year old could call herself a “babe” of any kind without anyone laughing?  

But still, I am so new to this, I have no idea how to proceed, how to actually find someone to hire me to write for them part time. Just $300 per month, I thought I could do that in one or two days a month.  When I wrote for a living, I made $800/week – plus benefits.  

I think the best idea was a request from someone on fiverr.com who asked me to write about how I had overcome severe clinical depression.  There are plenty of people who suffer from depression, and I remember so clearly that even after I was well on my way to recovery, I couldn’t find anyone who could truly describe the darkness and despair.  Most books on depression are written by people who have never found themselves getting ever closer to suicide, each time you think of it, another step closer to the abyss..

My thought was, I could write a short book and sell it on fiverr along with consultation sessions based on the techniques I would outline.  I notice, however, I am writing on aging instead, so I seem to be putting it off.  

Writing about depression scares me.  I haven’t revisited that completely raw and vulnerable place I experienced as I was healing, much less the years of (mostly well-hidden) inner despair and the guilt about the suicidal thinking.  (Of course you know it is dysfunctional, and still there it is again).  And you know others would be hurt, although you feel like no one loves you, you think they would be hurt by false guilt.

But over the weekend, I have gotten some helpful tips on how to write about it with tips  of HOPE for someone trying to banish the depression for good and live a happy life.  I am thinking now to write an e-book, and offer it on fiverr along with a coaching session, before I have a final draft to publish.  This way I could be of service to others at the same time I clarify my thinking about what should be in the book.

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2 thoughts on “Last Week in Writing

  1. i have been going through depression for a very long time. i got better
    than relapsed better n now relapsed again. still battling . But like
    what u said no one understands even psychiatrist, all what they do is
    ask u to take antideppressant n u will be better in weeks. But i am not
    feeling better. The med makes u even worst with headaches n nausea .then
    they want u to try different med.The worst part is when ur own sibling n
    children do not understand what is really going on inside you.U took
    all the words from my
    mouth,lonelines,worthlessnes,guiltines.emptines…….i would like to
    add one more,u not only suffer mentally,emotionally,phsically but your
    soul suffers to the core and is torn apart and that is when you want to
    kill yourself.

    Like

    • Thank you for sharing, Uma. The first meds I took made me worse, I was lucky to find one that helped me – but it was only a start. I had a lot of inner work to do – anger work, forgiveness work and more. Your soul feels it is cut off from everyone, even God – but it’s not true in reality…
      Hang on, it changed for me after 20 years of hell and it can for you as well. Sending Love across the miles. Gerry

      Like

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