Musing this day on changes, so many changes. Life goes along for a while as a calm, deep slow stream, then suddenly a few rocks and a little drop in altitude require re-evaluation of how to steer the boat.
Image from Quiet Nature, facebook
Time for some endings, always a little uncomfortable, and not by my choice, which is always a little worse, you’re aware of not being in control. Well, there are changes in Darwin and my relationship as we age, but we seem to be drawing closer, so that’s a good thing. But, he has had two heart scares recently (CHANGE and ANXIETY) (b.r.e.a.t.h.e.) and
I am aware every day that we will never again be as young as we are today.
So we’d better put our days to use.
Darwin is a professional singer. He and I are paid to sing, mostly at retirement communities, and every facility is cutting back on their activities budget. We have lost a lot of business. CHANGE. It wasn’t that noticeable at first, more now and sad anyway, especially for Darwin – and a drain on the budget!
I received notice that my pension is being reduced by a sizable chunk, and I have had to start thinking about writing for a living again. CHANGE.
At 72, I have had to start thinking about writing for a living again.
That has been exciting, but I have been retired for a while now, and things have changed, especially online, so there is a learning curve. I have begun defining myself once again for the workplace, and am trying to put together a portfolio. I joined fiverr. And Linkedin. Those are two brand new adventures. I really enjoy fiverr. People offer to do many things well for $5.00, then gradually can earn more with good reviews. So far I have had 13 “gigs,” and it has a sense of fun and community. And last week I was promoted!! I don’t see clearly how to replace our lost income yet, but writing is my craft as singing is Darwin’s.
Then, yesterday, the leadership of the spiritual community we belong to let us all know they had decided to close its doors. I am a minister, but not their minister, so still, CHANGE. My own ministry is mostly on facebook right now. And Season for Nonviolence, here. Of course there also is my mostly private page named after this bog, which I am just now letting people know about, and so doesn’t have many fans. I have mostly used it the last few months to collect my own thoughts and create some content for the other pages.
Did I mention I could make a fanpage for you???
If you are interested, I’ll make it a fiverr gig. I really enjoy that part of my day.
Then too, I have (gulp) decided to write that book (CHANGE) about my experiences recovering from long-term deep depression, as both a victim (I don’t like that word) of the disease and a professional therapist (MSW). It scares me, but it is something I really want to do. I remember being in the depths of darkness, and I looked everywhere for an author who know where i was AND how to recover. I can’t do the readers’ inner work for them, but I can surely tell my story and put up some signposts.
Maybe it will help some people. It’s a labor of love.
So, our life has gone along for the last 4 or 5 years, since the kids left home, in a fairly predictable and comfortable manner. I just thought it worth while to STOP for a moment, and notice, CHANGES. UNCOMFORTABLE.
No, waterfall, nothing we can’t handle, but still, CHANGES.