Today I promised myself writing time. Not for blogging, not for facebook fanpages, writing for the book, Imagine Yourself Happy. Right now I’d be happy to Imagine Myself Writing the book.
I knew I had accumulated notes everywhere, so I got them all onto the same computer (I have 3 counting the notes on my I-pad) and organized them into neat pages and folders on the computer. This is good; I am disorganized and I could have lost a good deal of work. BUT, after organizing and following some links…here I sit. I have at LEAST another hour to really get into it, but right now, it just all feels overwhelming and I can’t think where to start. I do have some short pieces written for various parts of the book, and they have gone into a master document.
There’s too much in my head…research about depression itself, researching other, more well-known authors to see what readers particularly appreciated, how-to-write-a-book suggestions, writing tips, where-how-to-publish. Yikes. Maybe I have just been so outer-focused on what other people had to say that I have lost confidence in my own voice.
I’ve done a lot of freelance assignments the past few weeks, and starting tomorrow, I have more. Someone even wants me to write a short e-book. And it’s a good assignment because I don’t know anything about publishing e-books and it could be good training for future income. But I think I “should be” writing my e-books about Imagining Yourself Happy. Am I procrastinating? Well, I still have bills to pay.
OK I will stop “shoulding on me,” and maybe I’ll just have to be happy today with getting organized, and let myself be in research and studying mode, what do you think? How do you trick yourself into forgetting everything except what is in your heart to communicate with your readers?
Note nine months later (December 2014)....It turns out that freelance writing was a great adventure, but in the long run it stole my love of writing. But it is still hard to get back to the book on depression – it triggered a lot of unfinished work and therein I think lies my block. I am thinking to write an e-book to start – much less daunting. “Loving Your Relationship.” At 73, I have certainly had enough of them to have something to say.
Can it really have been NINE months since I wrote that post? Fingers crossed, I seem to be productive again. Think I will make time this month to go back through those folders……..