“Today refuse to see yourself as a recipient of negative vibrations or as a victim of subtle or gross influence around you. Practice broadcasting the high vibrations of your inner radiance remembering all the while that the place upon which you stand is holy simply because you are standing there.” Rev. Dr. Michael Bernard Beckwith
Hmmmm…. I love mornings like this morning when all the doors and windows are open, the air is fresh and sweet after a rain, I hear the birds singing. Down the street a dog barks as people pass by during their morning constitutional. I truly have a magical life and I glory in the hours I can just “be” that jubilant, peaceful, “All’s well with the world” energy. Everything is quiet around me, and Mother Nature is at her prettiest. I have unhurried time for my spiritual practice and my personal writing before it’s time to respond to the demands of the world. I am abuzz with spiritual energy!
But then – as the day progresses the phone starts ringing, chores need doing, relationships need tending and that morning “peak”gradually tends to diminish. This is not bad, different parts of life require different energies. You can’t drive the kids to school or do your job with the same dreamy energy as you sit in a bubble-bath. It’s mostly all good, as long as I can stay focused on my function as a transmitter of positive vibes. See quote and photo above.
It seems though that I can be easily thrown off balance stressed by other people’s fear, demands and anger even if it is about things that aren’t even about me or under my control. I am trying to reduce my stress because that’s important for my health. These stress chemicals wreak havoc on my digestion, my heart rate, my sleep, my weight, my chronic pain, my ability to think clearly. I find that as I get older (I’m 72), this is getting worse.
Here’s how bad it is. Even if my sweeetie is watching an action movie in the evening before I retire, which he surely should be able to enjoy, I can’t handle it. I have to go to another room and close the door. Even the music, well sometimes especially the music, but also the hatred, violence and vulgarity, they just run right through me and trigger responses that clearly they have nothing to do with the movie nor my sweetie. I can’t think clearly. Oh, I said that already, but truly, I can’t put a sentence together or answer a question. My heart rate goes up. I feel fear in the pit of my stomach and I feel like I have just been attacked, personally. It’s just a MOVIE on the TV set. It has nothing to do with me at all. Still, it’s just like running into a WALL and being injured and winded.
Now make that a young family member with bipolar disorder being extremely intense over the phone, and sometimes I can’t think straight for an hour or more. That happened last week. I told this family member I loved him but could not handle his intensity right now and would have to get off the phone. I got a headache, I felt like crying. It used to happen around a negative co-worker. It often happens if I’m around a LOT of other people and it’s noisy – I get what I call “sensory overload” and I get into a very unhealthy and nervous state. I repeat – the worst is, I can’t THINK.
I know it’s an issue of boundaries. Mine are too porous. So, as to boundaries, no I am not willing to cut the young man out of my life as the rest of the family has done. I did take care of myself by getting off the phone and telling him the phones would all be off for a couple of hours. (He has a tendency to call over and over until finally someone picks up the phone.) Later when we spoke he was calm and we had a good conversation. Last time I got into the pool and took a swim. (Lucky me, I know).
And yes, I’m an empath. If other people’s energy can sometimes drain or deplete you, if you are a healer or someone people turn to for advice, you may be too. Dr. Judith Orloff has a test to see if you are too. It’s just a few questions – take a peek.
My sweetie recommends I imagine a cocoon of white light around myself, filtering out anything that will harm or alarm me. But I have never been successful at doing that unless everything is serene and quiet around me – like my “me” time in the early mornings – and while it is protective in the way of building up a storehouse of self-love, that’s not when I need it. Once the negativity has gotten through, it’s the wrong remedy.
But here’s a Grounding Cord technique that is much more help. In this exercise I both release the negative into the earth to be recycled and reclaim my own pure soul energy. It extends and deepens my favorite meditation, “breathing and smiling.” It does require that I retire to the ladies room or somewhere for a few minutes, but it puts ME back in control of my emotions and not the amorphous cloud of other people’s emotions. The essence is to sit comfortably, straight up, and imagine a cord reaching from your root chakra straight down through all the layers into the core of the earth. Everything extra you have picked up from anyone else, you send down that cord to be filtered and recycled. Just the grounding right away restores balance – remember I said I felt knocked off balance?
But the other half of the exercise is where the extra magic is for me. Here I picture a giant ball of light, any color I like, and reclaim all that positive soul energy of mine. My own addition is to smile as I send my reclaimed energy back to my open heart.
Go ahead and click the link for a more compete explanation of this powerful technique, and go ahead – release all those negative vibes…