We can’t change difficult people – or beautiful people’s difficult behaviors or addictions, mental illnesses, dementia, etc. Sorry. I still forget sometimes too, and it gets me in trouble with either an angry, judgmental distancing or a wanting to control the person or the conditions around the person. It’s an ongoing struggle for balance, for me.
Life is messy. Get over it.
Deep acceptance of a parent or a child or a spouse whose behavior is erratic or hurtful is the key to keeping Love alive. But that doesn’t mean they all have to live in my house or borrow space in my brain.
I know for me, it wasn’t until I fully accepted that my mother was an alcoholic – and could be expected to act like alcoholics do – that I could stop forgiving her difficult behaviors over and over. Nothing to forgive, only to love and accept her. What I could do is to could keep healthy but loving boundaries, show her a positive attitude and pray for her, and for my ability to love her. These dual insights helped me to heal as I released resentments I had held for years.
I can’t keep my heart open – except for that person over there. A resentful (or a fearful) heart cannot open fully – and I would miss out on the joy and peace that Love brings to my life. My open heart allows Love and Light to flow through me to everyone and everything, even people who want to hurt me – and to myself as well.