So many people are miserable at the holidays and pretend they aren’t. But as you know yourself, no one is saying. I remember those days. You look around and see how happy everyone else seem to be and wonder, “What’s wrong with me?” You wish everyone a “Merry Christmas,” even try to smile, try to get away. How am I? “Fine.”
For the first time in years I have time to myself in December – the past 10 years have been full of rehearsals and shows – but no shows for me this year and even though I loved it, even though it was exciting, I am happy to have given myself the gift of TIME this year. Usually by now I am so stressed out I can hardly walk (I have Fibromyalgia and have sometimes worked on stage in my wheelchair). This year, I feel great!!
I wanted to tell you about something that helped me during years past – I learned that since no one else is responsible for my happiness, it was not a winning strategy to expect other people to make my holiday bright. Including family. Sometimes especially family.
So I started setting some of my Xmas budget aside to buy something I wanted for me. I even wrapped it – if it was little, it went into my stocking. This year I haven’t bought anything yet for myself – and I may not. I already have way too much “stuff.” This year my gift to myself is the spiritual challenge you may have seen some posts about.
Did I mention TIME? To read silly books I thoroughly enjoy, listen to music that’s not famous but enormously entertaining, just hang out with my honey doing nothing in particular and being completely nonproductive. Merry Christmas to you too.