THIS POST IS ABOUT LOVE. More specifically it is about experiencing the LOVE that you ARE inside, the Love you are born as, and using that Love to heal the wounds you may have picked up during your time on the planet. It is about Showering Love on your Self.
I used to think self-love = self-centered = selfish = narcissism = BAD.
My partner is an entertainer and when he would sing “The Greatest Love of All,” for instance, or “My Way,” I accused him of selfishness, although he most certainly is not. He had learned somehow what I had missed in my then 50+ years on the planet: that until you can access the Love that dwells at the very heart of you, and include yourself in the people you love and wish all-good for, all other loves are a request to be filled up instead of a gift. Self-love is an extension of, an acceptance of, the Love of our Divine Source, by whatever name we call that Source Energy that flows through us to the world. And Source Love Energy is fully prepared to fill you up, cup overflowing, with plenty to give the world.
I have obviously had a very difficult time with self-love in my lifetime. It doesn’t matter how it started; unconscious self-hatred caused me untold heartache and was the most unwavering and most debilitating symptom of my depression. Yes, I know, my neurochemistry.
You see, no matter how much I tried, no matter how much I gave, I just could not find anyone who would “love me back.” I believed I was fatally flawed deep inside, put together differently than other people, somehow, and at my core “unlovable.” Those are the words that accompanied my darkest moods and the underlying belief that caused me such trouble in trying to “hold on” to love. You see, “holding on” is exactly the wrong image. It assumes Love comes from OUTSIDE yourself. But Love is a giving kind of thing and you want to bring a full tank.
It’s unfair I know, but other people love you better – when you love yourself more.
Love is a vibrational energy between between people, be it family, friends or romantic partnership. It is in a way like a tuning fork that vibrates in concert – when another fork tuned to its frequency being struck. You can’t receive the love you really want from another person until there is something in you to resonate with that love. Until you love yourself you will attract to yourself others who are wanting to be filled up themselves and have little to really give – because that’s who vibrates at your frequency. And in my depressed state, even my children found me “needy.” (Didn’t know that one until my 70’s) They went to live with their father and stepmother and I didn’t understand why.
I didn’t love myself and so deep down I didn’t expect anyone else would love me either, (even my children) although that was not conscious in me. I kept failing in love relationships and I didn’t understand why. In my recovery, even when the neurochemistry part had been successfully treated for several years – and even to this day, truth be told – my self-love requires ongoing conscious reprogramming.
Here’s a great way to “fill up on Love – A Sparkling Love Shower
Imagine stepping into a sensual Sparkling Love Shower!
You could let Ellen Love Vaman’s beautiful image here represent that shower.
❤ Step into the Love Shower in your mind’s eye.
❤ Right now, (no one is watching) imagine colorful sparkling love, warm and soft, caressing your skin.
❤ Bring all your senses into this experience. Maybe there is beautiful LIGHT involved. Perhaps there is beautiful MUSIC, your favorite kind. Perhaps you imagine the most wonderful CHOCOLATE you have ever tasted melting in your mouth (hey, it’s imaginary – no calories!). Let the warmth and beauty and music etc. wash over your entire being.
❤ Revel in each drop, each sensation!
❤ Add a deliberate smile! Really. That smiling is a secret sauce that makes this really work.
❤ Throw your head back and drink in this LOVE, swallow it and let it love your insides too. Let it heal all the hurting spots. YOU deserve it.
❤ As you are “showering,” you come to realize that all this Love you just showered yourself with is already inside of you. Where else did it come from????? You were born with it! It is WHO you really are!
Now treat yourself as you would treat someone you love (think of your closest friend)
- Talk to yourself as you would talk to a precious friend.
- Be generous to yourself with your words and your money.
- Look into the mirror and smile at yourself. Maybe you wink. maybe you even say, “I love you.”
- Take yourself out to lunch.
- Take time to breathe deeply.
- Take a slow, mindful walk, enjoy the birds and the flowers, feel your oneness with the Universe..
- Listen to music you love,and dance around the room hugging yourself.
- Tell yourself “Great job!” often.
- ________________ and __________________ and ________________
Hey what’s wrong with silly? We take life too seriously, we who suffer from depression.
Over time your feelings about yourself change and your relationship with the world and the people in it changes right along with it.
Please accept a little Love from me too, to get you started.
and cyber-hugs, gerry