Today’s featured blogpost at The Wellness Universe asks a great question.
If you GIVE to someone is that person obliged to give to you in return?
I know that my primary relationship is always with God/Spirit/The Universe/ and that when I give love/time/money/stuff to someone I am really giving back to God, passing on good in gratitude for a really beautiful, cup-overflowing-with-good life. I give from the overflow of good in my life. I stand gratefully in the Flow. I open my heart-space and give – and even more good flows to me. It’s not a direct “tit for tat” thing…it’s an energy-thing. I KNOW this. I teach it.
And even so I still find myself caught in the old conditioning and becoming upset when another person doesn’t return the favor. I KNOW better. Still.. Cheryl’s great article addresses this issue of giving with expectation of return. Please send your responses to Cheryl at this link.. Here it is:
Give & Receive by Cheryl O’Connor
Much of the conditioning many of us were brought up with appears to me to be rather somewhat flawed. Is this because of the natural evolution of consciousness or is it just because many who came before us and many of us even now still don’t stop to question what we have been told and believe to be true?
I don’t know the answer to that question for everyone, I only know for myself that I have always questioned all I have been told because experience tells me that somewhere in between what two or more people believe to be a truth, lays a truth, neither have yet seen.
We’ve all heard the phrase that relationships are a matter of give and take, but are they really?
This implies to me that when we give we believe that we should also take i.e. that if we give to one person then that person is obliged to give to us in return. Often if they don’t, those with a give and take mentality and expectation that they will receive, land up being disappointed or re-active with a ‘well, what about me attitude’.
I was instilled with certain things when I was younger. Things that I became conditioned to believe and some of those things I adhere to. Like manners, for instance. They cost nothing and it never hurts to say please or say thank you. It is polite and to me, it is respectful and it feels very right in my heart to use those words. Apart from those two things, much of what I grew up with I had to question and this whole give and take mentality was one such thing that never quite rang true with me. It still doesn’t.
So many times I have seen folks who give with the expectation of receiving – it rarely turns out well for when they don’t receive from who they expect to receive from, they become disappointed, resentful and think, well why the heck should I help you in the future when you need help and you can’t be bothered to help me. Often this turns into a situation of people feeling obliged to help, so as not to create difficulties in friendships, lose friendships or lose connections with other folk for whatever other reason people have for feeling obliged and acting out of obligation and not for the love and passion of doing something.
It is a rather interesting exercise, therefore, to just give for no other reason than your heart or your consciousness or whatever other part of you gives you the impulse to help and expect absolutely nothing in return. The more you practice this, the more awesome things happen in your life.
Not so long ago, a very dear friend was not feeling too well. They had been pushing their body really hard in relation to long hours and were feeling rather fluey. Their muscles were aching and they asked if I could give them a quick massage – “Sure, no problem” was my response. I also landed up giving them some Reiki/Seichim. During the course of this massage and healing session, there was nothing more than just the act of giving with love to someone close to me who needed me to assist them so that their body could feel a little better. It wasn’t until after the session that an offer was then made to me that would prove to be very beneficial to me and my work. I was so chuffed with the offer that I took them up on it. It was the last thing I expected, for the thought of what they offered me had not even entered my head.
Other times, I have seen rewards given to others in many different environments for things they have done which they did willingly and usually out of their own initiative. When rewarded, others have gotten their noises out of joint and come from the attitude and mentality of, “Well, what about me? I did this or I did that, where is my reward?”
I am not sure if this is just something that is part of human nature or if it is actually just conditioning we have become accustomed to, but I do know this from many experiences …… when we give with no thought of reward, with no expectation that we should take in return or be rewarded in some way for what we ourselves choose to give to another or others, awesome things happen in our lives, usually when we most need them to and we do indeed receive, rather than take.