The second most common request I see from people requesting coaching in their marriage is for rebuilding trust and intimacy. The first most common is to “stop fighting.”
We all understand intuitively why making amends can be part of a peace process between 2 people and even though it’s hard on our “pride” we are usually willing to make amends for hurting someone if the relationship is important to us. It’s a matter of re-building trust. It is an essential step. We teach these things in kindergarten. We make our kids pay for the neighbor’s broken window their baseball flew through.
What about making amends as a community? I read recently that Canada’s new young Prime Minister was deeply moved when he learned the full extent of the atrocities of his people against the original citizens of Canada and that he wanted to somehow make it right. He is unusual, sadly, in admitting his people had ever done anything wrong. Might does NOT make right.
There must be a starting place of trying to do right by people. When a whole people has been wronged, whether through colonialism, wars, slavery, polution or other means, the dominant society should not be surprised to find bitter resentments and lack of trust in its victims. That is why the Marshall Plan in Europe after World war Two resulted in friendship and mutual benefit rather than enmity. I am an American and Germany and Japan are 2 of our closest allies.
True Peace cannot be won without dealing with the pain inflicted during a conflict, whether between two people or two peoples.Just imagine what the world would be like if the countries within it had to go through relationship counseling.
Namaste. I love the Light in you