My colleague Robin Wahlgast of New Direction Dating has written a great article for The Wellness Universe blog about one of my favorite subjects – how we, as male and female beings are SO different. Not understanding that causes us to wonder, well, why can’t a man be more like a woman???? A dating and relationship expert, Robyn takes note of each gender’s seemingly hard-wired proclivities when it comes to communication and other matters and tells us why our menfolk love silence when conflict is brewing. Here are a few snippets from this excellent piece:
…..I should be able to accept my husband’s hard-wired behavior, and he should be able to embrace my innate femaleness—because as research shows, it’s nothing personal. And in truth, men usually do accept that some things just “are what they are”—wives and girlfriends included—and cut us plenty of slack for behavior and attitudes that can seem a bit odd from a male perspective.
…….By contrast, women often have a harder time of letting go and just accepting some of the manly quirks that show up in long-term relationships—removing the personal, in other words. One of these is a man’s tendency to make like a turtle and retreat into his shell when conflict appears on the horizon.
…….Silence is calming. Companionable silence can be among a man’s greatest pleasures in life, and well accompanies typical dude activities like chess, golf, fly fishing, and poker.
Silence is safe. Even a modern husband feels the pull of primitive instincts. Ancestors who learned to hunt silently were more successful at providing food for their family and community.
Silence works in other areas of life. In his work life, and certainly in the company of other men, there is rarely a downside to silence.
Talk, on the other hand, can be risky. Saying too much (or the wrong thing) can make someone vulnerable to attack.
…..The next time your well-meaning sweetie opts NOT to “talk things out,” try to see his behavior as a teeny bit chivalrous, like opening a door for you or carrying a heavy package.
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