Easing Back In…

OK, I have not Gerry_by Randy Harrisquite known what to do about my writing, or exactly what happened.  I think when I started considering writing a book, I froze.  The best I can come up with is that writing stopped being fun – and making creative posters and developing a network on Facebook was much more immediately fulfilling.

No, it was more than that.  I was lonely and I found a community of people who love and appreciate me and what I have to share.  At 75 now, and living 20 miles outside of town, I otherwise live a pretty isolated life, other than my sweetie of 22 years and our dog. I have fibromyalgia, with low energy…

Perfect for writing, right?  But I froze.  I started caring what people thought of my writing and how many people would read it instead of what I needed to express. Also, I didn’t have energy to develop this blog and my FB pages too. I am stronger now than I was a year ago.

I used to write to express myself – so I knew what I was thinking. I’d like to do that again.

I have a lot of things to figure out.  I am at a place where I am trying to understand my aging process, what it means to not have the energy to participate in many activities, what constitutes a meaningful life – or a meaningful day – how to deal with disappointment as my hearing deteriorates, my cognition isn’t what it once was…both memory and organization… processing my grief at loss of function.

I don’t know quite what to do with myself for my remaining years.  I know, it’s good to stay in this NOW moment…at the same time I don’t want to waste the years I have left, however many they may be.  The clock is ticking.

 

 

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2 thoughts on “Easing Back In…

  1. Hi Gerry, I hear your disappointment that your writing has ‘frozen’. You have been and are, a wonderful inspiration to me through your writing on social media and as a colleague at The Wellness Universe. I wish you the energy and interest to return to the style of writing you started out with on your earlier blog ‘For My Eyes Only’, when writing for yourself was flowing. One suggestion for a book could be extracts from your blog post with photos to enhance, this would be wonderful inspirational reading. However and whichever direction life takes you in the winter of your years, I wish you love, good health and happiness.
    Linda Gillan

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Oh, how I can relate to trying to defrost “frozen” creativity!! I find myself constantly challenged by the thought that whatever I do has to be “significant” somehow – that what I think and feel isn’t important enough to be shared unless it’s totally unique and perfectly presented! (talk about a setup for frustration!?) My current approach is to challenge whatever is telling me that I’m not deserving of attention – my own as well as other people’s. I’m glad you’re reaching out to your online community here and on FB – we are all deserving and all worthwhile! ♥ ♥ XO – M

    Liked by 1 person

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